Super Smash QBs – Choose Your NFC Fighter!
Now that we’ve fully explored the AFC quarterbacks, it’s time to figure out which Super Smash Brothers characters fit the NFC quarterbacks.
Philadelphia Eagles: Carson Wentz
Super Smash Bros. Comparison: Pichu
Reasoning: This comparison is sure to piss off fans of Carson Wentz until they realize Pichu is considered one of the top tier characters in the new game. Largely due to his agility and small hitbox, Pichu can pack a powerful punch if used correctly. If not, he damages himself. Sounds a lot like Carson Wentz, who was QB18 in points per game when he was on the field this season. Unfortunately, Wentz has missed eight of 32 regular season games over the past two seasons.
Bonus: Nick Foles
Super Smash Bros. Comparison: Incineroar
Reasoning: Incineroar gets better the more damage it takes. Nick Foles seems to excel when thrown into critical situations, but it’s still a question of whether any team should make him their “main” quarterback.
Dallas Cowboys: Dak Prescott
Super Smash Bros. Comparison: Pit
Reasoning: I can’t seem to get away from comparing Dak Prescott to an archer. He will never be the quarterback who attempts the most passes but makes the most of the passes he does throw. In 2018, Prescott once again had a great touchdown-to-interception ratio. That sounds like an archer to me, and Pit is the deadliest archer in Super Smash Brothers.
Washington Redskins: Alex Smith
Super Smash Bros. Comparison: Dr. Mario
Reasoning: This character comparison has nothing to do with being anything like Alex Smith. I just wanted to assign Smith a doctor because I am sending him all the well wishes I can. Hopefully Doctor Mario can assist in some way. (Editor’s Note: Get well soon, Alex!)
New York Giants: Eli Manning
Super Smash Bros. Comparison: Ice Climbers
Reasoning: Eli Manning’s career at this stage depends on either Odell Beckham or Dave Gettleman, depending on how you look at it. It seemed only fitting to give Manning the only characters that are a duo. If you defeat one Ice Climber, the other is toast. That would be Eli without Odell or Gettleman. He may still be toast anyway.
Los Angeles Rams: Jared Goff
Super Smash Bros. Comparison: Diddy Kong
Reasoning: Jared Goff is a young exciting quarterback. He finished the season 11th in points per game among quarterbacks and eighth in total points. Much like Diddy Kong, Goff will have games where his peanut gun backfires, but when it hits, you better watch out.
Seattle Seahawks: Russell Wilson
Super Smash Bros. Comparison: Kirby
Reasoning: It’s simple for this one. Russell Wilson has had to adapt to poor offensive lines, poor offensive weapons surrounding him, and everything else the Seattle front office has thrown at him. No character in the Smash Brothers game has more situational adaptability than Kirby with his copy ability.
Arizona Cardinals: Josh Rosen
Super Smash Bros. Comparison: Captain Falcon
Reasoning: Phoenix Fire and Cardinals sort of seem like they go together, right? In all seriousness, Josh Rosen has an edge to him that I like, and so does Captain Falcon. Rosen is not well perceived after a rookie season with more interceptions than touchdowns. But maybe, with new offensive weapons next year, he’ll be ready to falcon punch opponents into oblivion.
San Francisco 49ers: Jimmy Garoppolo
Super Smash Bros. Comparison: Chrom
Reasoning: If there was a quarterback handsomeness guide, Jimmy Garoppolo would grace the cover. Chrom was the closest character I could come up with as “handsome” in Super Smash Brothers Ultimate.
Bonus: Nick Mullens
Super Smash Bros. Comparison: Mega Man
Reasoning: Mega Man was a nice surprise when first added to the Smash roster. Nick Mullens was a nice surprise for those of who picked him up off waivers in 2QB and Superflex leagues. When the surprise wore off with Mega Man, he was sort of boring. Will the same be true of Mullens?
Minnesota Vikings: Kirk Cousins
Super Smash Bros. Characters: Shulk
Reasoning: There was a lot of hype when Shulk from Xenoblade was added to Smash. The same can be said of the Vikings adding Kirk Cousins this past offseason. Cousins did what he does, passing for over 4000 yards and posting his best touchdown-to-interception ratio in a few years. Yet, some fans feel disappointed. I get the same sense from fans of Xenoblade, in that they don’t quite feel Shulk is strong enough in Smash.
Detroit Lions: Matthew Stafford
Super Smash Bros. Character: Donkey Kong
Reasoning: Everyone knows Matthew Stafford isn’t going to beat you with his agility. He is going to beat you with big plays to Kenny Golladay or Marvin Jones. That plan didn’t work as well this past season, but with changes to the coaching staff, things may look up for 2019.
Green bay Packers: Aaron Rodgers
Super Smash Bros. Character: Marth
Reasoning: Marth has always been considered one of the better characters in the game since his appearance in Melee. I can’t remember the last time that Aaron Rodgers wasn’t considered a top quarterback. You know Rodgers is elite when people are talking about him having a “down season” despite finishing seventh in fantasy points per game at his position.
Chicago Bears: Mitchell Trubisky
Super Smash Bros. Comparison: Fox
Reasoning: I’m sorry Bears fans, I know you don’t want to hear the name Fox anymore. However, Fox is an apt comparison for Mitchell Trubisky. Fox is agile, but able to use his laser to attack when needed. Much of Trubisky’s fantasy value comes from his legs at the moment, but perhaps he will use his laser more as he grows in Matt Nagy’s offense.
New Orleans Saints: Drew Brees
Super Smash Bros. Comparison: Link
Reasoning: Drew Brees is nothing if not accurate with the football. Link has great archery skills, rivaling those of Pit. However, these days, the Saints have multiple ways they can attack. Sounds like Link, who can now detonate his bombs remotely.
Carolina Panthers: Cam Newton
Super Smash Bros. Comparison: Falco
Reasoning: If Cam Newton can’t be Sonic, he must be another fast character. Much like Fox, Falco is very agile. The difference is that Falco’s lasers are a bit stronger and he’s larger. Cam certainly uses his size to his advantage when he rushes the ball.
Atlanta Falcons: Matt Ryan
Super Smash Bros. Comparison: Richter
Reasoning: Richter has a long whip that he can use to keep opponents at bay. Matt Ryan has trusty Julio Jones, who will catch deep bomb after deep bomb before opponents even know what’s happening. Combined with Richter’s fire that burns blue, it seemed a fitting comparison for Matty Ice.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Jameis Winston
Super Smash Bros. Comparison: Bowser Jr.
Reasoning: Jameis Winston isn’t exactly known for his maturity and Bowser Jr. isn’t either. Bowser Jr. does have a cannon ball he can shoot across the screen, and Winston has taken plenty of deep shots in his career. There is some question about how much longer Tampa Bay will stick with Winston, and the same can be said for Smash players with Bowser Jr, as he’s considered among the lowest tier of characters.
Signing Smashing Off
We did it again, folks. I hope you enjoyed reading this series as much as I enjoyed writing it! If you want to tell me why I’m wrong about who represents your favorite quarterback or character, you can find me on Twitter @RekedFantasy.
THE NATIONAL COALITION AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS THE VOICE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIMS AND SURVIVORS, AND THEY ARE THE CATALYST FOR CHANGING SOCIETY TO HAVE ZERO TOLERANCE FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. PLEASE CONSIDER MAKING A DONATION TO THE NCADV AND FOLLOW THEM ON TWITTER @NCADV.
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