AFC Quarterback Superheroes
*FEATURED IMAGE ARTWORK BY DAVE CHOW – 248-613-0566 – WWW.DAVECHOWILLUSTRATIONS.COM
When I recently wrote about Blake Bortles, I didn’t realize my comparison of him to Batman would catch fire. There’s more crossover between fantasy football fans and comic book fans than I anticipated. Now I’m back to give you what you all want, whether you knew you wanted it or not. I’m going to compare every team’s quarterback to a superhero or villain of some sort. I’ll start with the AFC, then do another article about the NFC, and finally move on to free agents.
New England Patriots: Tom Brady
Superhero Comparison: Old Man Logan
Reasoning: You really think father time can stop Brady? Well, Tom Brady just threw for the most yards ever by a 40-year-old quarterback and finished as the QB3 overall in pretty much all formats. Brady is the best at what he does, and what he does is kill other fantasy teams, Bub.
Buffalo Bills: Tyrod Taylor
Superhero Comparison: Quicksilver
Reasoning: Since Tyrod became the starter for the Bills, only Cam Newton has rushed for more yards. Taylor may not have the highest usage totals in the league, but if he finds himself on a new team, he could be asked to unleash his powers more. Much like Quicksilver, he is still waiting for a chance to prove himself.
Miami Dolphins: Ryan Tannehill
Superhero Comparison: Aquaman
Reasoning: If you think this comparison is only because Tannehill plays for the Dolphins, you’re severely underestimating how much time I spend thinking about superheroes. Tannehill had back-to-back seasons of 4,000+ yards in 2014 and 2015, and barely missed that same mark in 2013. During that span, he never finished lower than QB17. Much like Aquaman, there is more to Tannehill than meets the eye. [Editor’s Note: If so, shouldn’t he be Optimus Prime or Bumblebee?]
New York Jets: Josh McCown (I’m aware he’s a free agent, but I’m going to write about Drew Brees as a Saint, too. Deal with it.)
Superhero (Villain) Comparison: The Trapster
Reasoning: The Trapster has glue tech that allows him to stop his opponents from moving. Eventually, he is defeated by a hero. McCown acts as glue for teams until a true hero runs him out of town.
Chiefs: Patrick Mahomes
Superhero Comparison: Nightwing
Reasoning: Mahomes spent the past year in the shadow of Alex Smith, who put up the greatest season of his career. That hasn’t changed anything for the Chiefs, and much like Gotham, they know Mahomes will be a hero in his own right. He’s just not going to do it in the same way as the guy who came before did.
Los Angeles Chargers: Philip Rivers
Superhero (Villain?) Comparison: Deadpool
Reasoning: You’ve seen Rivers on the sidelines, right? He can’t help running his mouth. Sounds like Deadpool to me. Yet, even though everyone seems to hate Deadpool, he gets the job done. Rivers has finished as a top-12 quarterback in each of the past five seasons.
Oakland Raiders: Derek Carr
Superhero Comparison: Bruce Banner/The Hulk
Reasoning: When Derek Carr is on, he looks like he belongs among the elite tier of quarterbacks. When he is off, he looks like a puny human. Moving forward, will we get the monster who gave us two top-14 finishes or the guy who gave us two finishes outside the top 20? Maybe this post will make Carr angry enough to bring out the true beast in 2018.
Denver Broncos: Trevor Siemian
Superhero Comparison: Alpha
Reasoning: Do you remember when Spiderman briefly had a super-powered sidekick? No? We won’t remember Trevor Siemian in a few seasons, either. His moment in the sun wasn’t even enough to get him a top-24 finish in 2016. Ouch.
Pittsburgh Steelers: Ben Roethlisberger
Superhero Comparison: The Thing
Reasoning: This comparison was suggested to me on Twitter, and I must agree. Big Ben is notoriously hard to sack. He also has a stubborn streak to him, just like the Thing.
Baltimore Ravens: Joe Flacco
Superhero Comparison: Ant-Man/Giant-Man (Hank Pym)
Reasoning: After his Super Bowl run in 2013, many thought Joe Flacco was “elite.” People thought the same about Ant-Man because he was a founding member of the Avengers. Neither was quite the hero people thought them to be. Since 2013, Flacco has finished as the QB13, QB20, and QB24. It’s likely time for a new and better hero to take over.
Cincinnati Bengals: Andy Dalton
Superhero Comparison: The Human Torch
Reasoning: Say what you will about Andy Dalton, but he hasn’t finished outside the top 24 of quarterback scoring in any season during his career. He’s even had some top-12 finishes in that time. He may not be the first hero you think of, but Dalton is very reliable. That’s why he’s the Human Torch.
Cleveland Browns: DeShone Kizer
Superhero Comparison: The Speedsters from The Flash
Reasoning: Just as quickly as their powers came, the speedsters had their powers taken away by Godspeed and the Flash. I think you can figure out who stole Kizer’s joy in this situation. If you guessed Hue Jackson, congratulations. You’ve correctly identified that he’s terrible for quarterback development! I’m using a picture of Godspeed here because Hue Jackson is the real villain.
Jacksonville Jaguars: Blake Bortles
Superhero Comparison: Batman
Reasoning: I referenced it at the top of this piece, but read my full-length article on why Blake Bortles is the two-quarterback fantasy hero we deserve in 2018.
Tennessee Titans: Marcus Mariota
Superhero Comparison: Spiderman
Reasoning: Despite his recent down year, Mariota has the 21st–most passing touchdowns for any quarterback through the first three seasons of their career. More impressively, he has the seventh–most rushing touchdowns on that list. Mariota is clearly a balanced fighter. Sounds like Spiderman to me, who is both agile and strong.
Indianapolis Colts: Andrew Luck & Jacoby Brissett
Superhero Comparison: Superman & Superboy
Reasons: Before his injury, Andrew Luck, not Cam Newton, was unquestionably Superman. He had the third-most passing touchdowns through five seasons into his career. He’s also one of three quarterbacks to pass for 19,000 yards during that time. Between 2012 and 2016, Luck had the sixth-most rushing yards among quarterbacks. Little did we know shoulder injuries are his Kryptonite. Brissett is Superboy because he is definitely not the player that Luck is, but still managed to provide fantasy owners a QB18 season in Luck’s stead.
Houston Texans: Deshaun Watson
Superhero Comparison: Thor
Reasoning: If you are worthy, you may pick up this football and have the power of Deshaun Watson. He electrified in his debut season by putting up 21 total touchdowns in only six starts. Did I mention he’s the only quarterback ever to have 17+ passing touchdowns seven games into his career? We may be looking at a new entry to the fantasy pantheon.
Thanks for following along! I look forward to continuing this series with NFC quarterbacks. If you have any questions or want to yell me at for my comparisons, you can on Twitter at @RekedFantasy.
*Stats used in this article courtesy of Pro-Football-Reference and FF Statistics
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